We’re mid-summer. The unrelenting sun beats down all day. The humidity could suffocate a cat. Your thirsty plants crave the sun’s energy but are wilting amid the swelter. You need to water them, but you don’t want to stand around with the hose and sweat your tomatoes off. Let a soaker hose do the work. And, instead, you can binge watch Season 5 of Veep, which is pretty fantastic. Jonah Ryan is our favorite.

We don’t remember a hotter June. Our garden, though, is going gangbusters. Seriously, our zucchini cannot be contained. Our cucumbers climb to the sky. Out hot peppers, yeah they’re hot—but a comfortable hot.

We’ve assembled a network of soaker hoses throughout our landscaping, our raised vegetable garden, our rows of tomato plants, our raspberry bushes, and our grape vine trellises. The hoses deliver water directly to the plants at the soil line. Less water goes to waste. The roots are not inundated.

After trying several brands, we prefer Apex. Some hoses were too porous. If we left the water on for a bit, the yard flooded. Others weren’t porous enough. They just slowly dripped, dripped, dripped. Apex’s hoses, like Goldilocks’ third bowl of porridge, are just right.

We also use an Orbit Hose Faucet Timer. We connect the garden hose to a soaker hose. We set the timer for 10 minutes. Whenever we remember, we return to the yard, switch to another soaker hose, and repeat the process until everything is watered (or we decide to take a nap). We acquired the timer because we are forgetful gentlemen. We frequently forgot that the hose was going, which resulted in expensive water bills.

This summer, we anticipate a bountiful harvest. So, you can expect lots of braggadocious articles and photographs, mostly involving vegetables. Don’t blame us. Fault lies with that damn soaker hose. It just works too well.