You love America, right? We suspected so. You admire the Founding Fathers? Of course.

But do you really understand the Founding Fathers—you know—as people? For example, were you aware that John Adams had a dog named “Satan”? Or that Ben Franklin took air baths by hanging out naked? Or that Thomas Jefferson was the preeminent distiller of fine bourbon in the Thirteen Colonies?

Oh, wait. Something doesn’t compute. Jefferson was a Virginian. Bourbon comes from Kentucky. Kentucky wasn’t even a colony. Huh?

Sorry, we were momentarily befuddled. We saw this bottle of Jefferson’s Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. It carries Tom’s name and likeness. We assumed that he made it—well, not this bottle but other bottles that came before this bottle, this bottle’s ancestors.

We did a little research, though. It turns out the bourbon is simply named after Thomas Jefferson. The distillers thought that Jefferson’s “curiosity and experimental spirit” embodied how their products “push[ed] the boundaries of the definition of bourbon.”

Okay. Whatever. It’s Independence Day. We’re enjoying Jefferson’s because we’re patriots. And, we like bourbon. You can join us, or you can drink whatever King George III drank. Probably gin, Redcoat Gin.