5. Drink Your Way from Sea to Shining Sea

We understand your dilemma. You want to see the United States but cannot swing a three-week road trip from Charleston, South Carolina to Portland, Oregon. Here’s our solution. Drink it. Plot your course, then sample a craft beer from every state on the route. Not in one sitting, mind you. Throughout the year.

4. Dress More Dapperly

Few employers require business formal dress. Regardless, wear a tie—not always but sometimes. The right tie does a gentleman good. Ties get attention. They start conversation. They command respect. And, you can integrate them into your wardrobe without reinventing it. Add an outer layer, such as a sport coat, V-neck sweater or cardigan, because without it you risk looking like the teenager who stocks shelves at your local grocer. Outfitted right, though, 2014 might belong to you.

3. Upgrade Your Best Friend

According to the Chinese calendar, 2014 is the year of the horse. But, horses make lousy urban pets. Get a dog. Why? This.

2. Come Equiped

Remember your elementary school cafeteria? You could get a Saulsberry steak, mashed potatoes, and a side salad for $1.25. It wasn’t great but was cheap. In real life, lunch has a heftier price. Rarely does the experience merit the expense. A modest meal costs $7. That’s—$7 x 5 days a week x 50 work weeks a year. Or, $1,750. Beyond dollars, lunching out hurts productivity and your ability to regulate the ingredients you eat.

Too often, we at G@H arrive to the office unprepared and must scavenge the mean city streets for food. Not anymore! In 2014, we pledge to bring lunch, at least, thrice weekly. That allows for productive lunches, both business and social, while eliminating the superfluous soup and sandwich runs.

We’re so serious that we planted some office lettuce.

1. Watch The Sopranos Start-to-Finish . . . While on the Treadmill

Television once sucked. But, for 13 years, we’ve lived in a Golden Age. The West Wing. Breaking Bad. The Wire. Mad Men. The Sopranos. We needn’t debate which show is best because each is required viewing. This year, a G@H editor will re-watch all 86 episodes of The Sopranos. But, he has one restriction: he can only watch while walking/running on the treadmill. That’s a guaranteed burn of 30,000 calories.

Warning: explicit language