We updated. The iPhone 5s is awesome.

Posted on January 24, 2014

iPhone 5s

When your cell phone starts randomly dialing people, it’s time to upgrade. Otherwise, you submit yourself to an awkward, possibly ruinous, game of calling roulette. How many exes can your pocket ring up in one afternoon? Some questions are best left unanswered.

Facing this crisis, we averted disaster by upgrading to the iPhone 5s. It’s awesome. Here’s why:

1. Gold and White Finish

We aren’t big into bling. Gold, though, clearly wins the battle of iPhone 5s finishes. It provides a warm compliment to the white. It gets noticed without being glitzy.

iPhone 5s

2. The Camera

Maintaining G@H demands constant vigilance. When we stumble upon something interesting, we must share it with you fine folks. The iPhone 5s’ camera with its 8 mb sensor and ƒ/2.2 aperture eviscerates our iPhone 4. Photos are clearer. Colors are more dynamic.

iPhone 4 vs. 5s

3. The Fingerprint Scanner

We as humans can be gerbils. The superficial distracts us from the substantive. But, the iPhone 5s’ fingerprint scanner is no gimmick.

Our employers require us to password protect our phones. Our employers also require that we frequently change those passwords. Sometimes, we forget our passwords—due either to absentmindedness or alcohol consumption. Now, though, we are the password, and we never forget us.

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